My Birth Experience


My little one’s foot. 4 weeks old here.

Five months ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The birth didn’t go smooth as I hope it would. Well, I pictured myself giving birth in just a couple of hours. I wished! But as a first timer that would be difficult and that’s what happened.. difficult. However, I’m beyond grateful that my baby was born free from any complications and she was born healthy.

As I’ve said, it didn’t go smooth because dilation stopped at 9cm and the contractions’ slowed down probably because of  the epidural. I had to stand, move around and sit on a fitness ball in order to speed things up but nothing worked. So, the midwives put me on oxytocin drip and reduced the epidural. Then, the delivery room suddenly got busy. Nurses, doctors and midwives were walking in and out of the room. When I asked them if something’s wrong, they would only say that they’re just checking out the situation and that there’s nothing to be worried about. I wasn’t worried but I could sense that they had some concerns because they’re babbling in the corner. Then a midwife came to me and explained that my baby’s starting to get tired or in other words distressed.

The contractions got stronger and finally fully dilated. It’s time to push (which I find the most challenging part of giving birth). I think I asked the midwives twice or even thrice if the baby was really coming because it feels like I need to take a trip to the bathroom for a number 2! 😂 No kidding! The feeling is very similar to when you are very constipated but the urge to push is super strong. Blame it to the nerves!

Anyway, the doctors came to me and gave instructions on how to push. I did what I was told to do but I was already weak so my effort wasn’t good enough to push the baby. That’s when the second doctor came in with the vacuum to assist the birth. To be honest, I got nervous for the baby when I saw the vacuum but because of the doctors’ and midwives’ encouragement, I felt secured again. I gave all of my energy on the last push, and voila my little one’s out (after 14 hours of active labor) and cried her lungs out.

If there is something that I’ve learned from this experience is that we are stronger than we think.

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A Foggy Beginning

My life these past few months can be describe as a hazy bubble. I thought that I know everything, but the truth is I only knew the top of the whole thing. I was on the verge of giving up. I cried and wept every day, I ignored some close people around me, and every thing was just stressing me out, because all of a sudden things did not go according to plan and the anticipation once I had turned into a nightmare.

Almost three months from now, I became a mom for the first time. (Hence the long absence from the blog world.)
Who would have thought that life after pregnancy is just a start of a hard journey? I thought that the birth experience itself is the most painful thing, but I was wrong. Almost 95 percent of my family and friends has told me that having a baby is a bliss. Yes, having and meeting my baby is a bliss. Yet, it is also hard because I have to be strong and give my little one her needs even if it means sacrificing my time, energy and happiness.

Anyway, things are better now though I am still adjusting to my new routine. I am enjoying being a mom and I am grateful for this new chapter in my life.