It is not easy to find a man who would do anything for his girlfriend outside marriage. Some men do not take their relationships seriously because they are not yet married. They are in a relationship because of boredom, sex or just for the sake of having a girlfriend.
I asked my boyfriend one time about his thoughts on marriage and he said that he does not believe in it. According to him marriage is almost the same as cohabitation. The only difference is that in marriage the party agrees to undergo a ceremony before living in together in the same house and start a family while in cohabitation, the couple agrees to move in together without any ceremonies or rituals.
I wasn’t surprised nor hurt by his answer. I don’t actually care if he’ll marry me or not as long as he is faithful to me, that is more than enough for me.
However some of my friends reacted negatively on this and they got worried about me. Even my ex bf is worried! (lol) Then they even told me “Are you just going to let this happen? If he really loves you then he would marry you!“. Their reaction for me is normal and understandable since some of us came from a country where circa 80% of the population belongs to the Catholic faith. I told my friends that they do not need to worry for my sake because it is fine with me not to get married. I know and I can feel that my boyfriend truly loves me a lot. He was even the one who told me that no one has the right to cheat on someone even he/she is not yet married. People should not use the “I’m not yet married” excuse to be unfaithful to his/her partner. So I’m happy on how things are going on with us right now.
I do believe that relationships are tested not after the wedding but before the couples have decided to get married. If he really loves you, he won’t bother to look or talk to other women even if you are just his girlfriend. For him, being in a relationship is a commitment that should not be taken for granted.
I’m not saying that I’m against marriage here, my point is that getting married is a choice and any forms of cheating should not be tolerated just because he’s not yet married. Relationships are based on respect. Without respect any relationships (married or not) are weak like a building without a foundation. Without respect, it is difficult to trust your partner and likewise and without trust relationships will not work and not even marriage can save it.
So for those who are asking me repeatedly about when I’m getting married, well my boyfriend and I actually have no plans of getting married but we do have plans of having children someday but who knows what the future brings and if we change our minds someday, then we’ll probably get married! No problem with that.