I’ve been emotional these past few weeks. Every single thing made me either sad, over joyeous or angry. Sometimes I wonder if I’m pregnant. *laughs* No, I’m not! Anyway, this roller coaster of emotions plus the stress caused by the virus and insomia, made things worse. It came to the point where I felt hopeless and thought that there’s no point in trying to make myself feel better. However, someone is looking up to me and is dependent on me. So I shouldn’t disappoint her. After all, I’m a grown up woman and I’m a mother.

As I’ve said in one of my previous posts this month, I’m done with my six week clinicals. The first half was MRI and the second one is conventional x-ray. Both in Bergen. I had a good time and I found both clinicals very educational. I’ve met new faces as well. Then after the clinicals, we had to do a presentation about a case or an issue we want to solve in our clinicals through knowledge-based analysis. This is done by first formulating a question/problem that we want to answer. The answer should be supported by data from research studies. To make the story short, I worked with my presentation just a couple of days before we had to present our case. I found two systematic review articles to support my case. My powerpoint presentation lacked some slides because I was very exhausted the day before. At the same time, I only had four hours of sleep! So, I was a zombie! To my surprise, I passed this mandatory presentation. I really really thought that I was going to fail because I was over my time limit and I had negative vibes all the way.

This experience has given me some confidence points and lessons in life. No matter how shitty we feel, it doesn’t mean that things would turn out bad. I was on the verge of giving up but I didn’t because if I fail then I fail my family-the ones who stands by my side despite how bad things can get with me. Then, I thought that giving up would mean that I had to retake the presentation again, which I can’t afford.

It’s normal to feel down at times. After all, we’re not immortal.

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