Having a baby is one of life’s best experiences. It’s so beautiful, yet it can be overwhelming. It’s a striking contrast, as we can feel both joy and sadness at the same time.
When I found out that I was pregnant with my second child (see post), I got anxious because I was worried about having postpartum depression again. I experienced it after the birth of my first child. I felt hopeless, and I also had suicidal thoughts– not just during the first four weeks but even beyond six months postpartum. I knew that I needed help, but I didn’t ask anyone for it. Well, except for my GP that time– he just prescribed an anti depressant drug which I never took because I was nursing.
Take note that postpartum blues and postpartum depression are not the same. The former doesn’t last very long, while the latter can last for a couple of years.
Fast forward–thank God I survived that phase of my life.
This time is better, probably because I already know what to expect as a postpartum mom. However, once in a while, I still experience the blues. Whenever that happens, I make sure that I go out in the nature, and take a deep breath.
Two days ago, I went to the beach with my three-month-old baby. It was her first time, and it was fun to see her reaction when she saw the beach for the first time.
We had the beach all to ourselves. I was grateful for–no one could see my watery eyes from all the emotion (because of hormones!). I’m just thankful that despite everything I’m going through, my baby is growing up healthy.
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