Unknown Water

Staying at home for the past weeks has been though for everyone. Though I understand the sentiments people who complain about the community quarantine, I find it hard to accept that rudeness around the globe arises. I was like, they should just shut their mouth and focus on other things rather than hating on other people in this time of crisis.

Then it came to me that fear and angst lead to anger and despair when they are for instance get exposed to a sudden change. I should have known this because I act kinda same when my inner balance is being threatened. Social media is one of the factors why people are rude against each other, because we cannot accept the fact that people are different and think differently. So knowing other people’s reaction through comments on Facebook/Twitter is like having the ability to read someone’s mind and getting a clue about a person’s character.

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Sunset view from our terrace.

 

Changing Course

Working in the health sector has helped me see life from another perspective. We, as employees are expected to show compassion and empathy towards our “clients” while we take care of their needs. What I mean by the term clients is a group of people who are in need of our services. The other term that we use is “patient” but I prefer to address them as clients.

When I enrolled for the accounting course a couple of years ago, I have already been seeking for that thing that I would love to work with for the rest of my life even though I was uncertain of the choice of course that I made, I was hopeful that my skills will serve a purpose and that it would somehow make me rich. I was doing well in my first semesters at the university until it hit me that I do not actually like and enjoy what I was doing. I woke up one day feeling numb and wondering what in the world did I get myself into. Balancing sheets became a burden all of a sudden, numbers became like a corn of sand to my eyes and that’s how I realized that I didn’t want to be an accountant or an economist. However, it was too late to drop out because I was near to finishing the program and besides I did not want to disappoint my parents and show everyone that I backed out. I did not want them to think that I am dumb.

During my sophomore year at the university, I applied for a part-time job as a personal assistant in the health sector. I got the job and I felt that my mood got better whenever I get to work despite my hectic schedule. A friend of mine told me that maybe my calling is not on being an accountant/economist but maybe as a social worker, health worker such as a nurse, physical therapist or a psychologist to name a few.

I finished the degree but deep inside I feel that I’m not complete. Then the hunt for the good paying job started. All I thought of that time was just any jobs in the economic sector as long as it is connected to my degree and of course, it should be a high paying job because that was my goal. To earn a lot of money. Who wouldn’t want to have a good amount of money in their account?

To make the story short, in the end, I got a good paying job where I could somehow apply what I learned from economy studies but with a cost which is happiness and satisfaction. I wasn’t happy at work even though I was working with very nice colleagues. After a couple of months, I submit my resignation letter and went back to the part-time job that I have which this time is as a home nurse assistant.

I received mixed reactions from friends and family upon telling them what I did and what I was going through. Some of them told me that maybe I was just bored and it’s normal in an office type of work and that I should have given it more time. Others told me that I just wasted 4 years in the university for a course that didn’t give any good results. – Oh well yes, I’m guilty of it. But for me, my happiness weighs more than any gold in this world.

As I’ve said earlier in this post, working in the health sector has shown me life from another angle. It showed me how important it is to take care of others without thinking too much of my own interests. At the same time, it has shown me what I really want to be- a person that works not just to earn money but also to serve others without losing my identity. A type of person who is professional but at the same time a people-oriented kind of person and to be that kind of person, I should follow my heart and pursue the right career for me.

What I have learned in this journey is that things happen to us because we do not know where we are heading. Just like my past choices before. We make mistakes and we always get a chance of correcting them and learning from them.

So to those in my circle who criticized me, I am changing course not because I failed, but because I am sure this time that the other path is for me and something good awaits me there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of Life’s Lesson

Before, I thought that the main purpose of getting a degree or education is to earn lots of money and get rich. I also thought that once I see more digits pouring into my bank account, I’d be happier and satisfied. I was wrong. Life is indeed more than money.

I’m not saying that I don’t need money though. My point is that once you put money as your only priority and goal, then you might wake up unsure of what really is your purpose in life and in your society.

 

What Baby?

Why is the women’s choice to have babies limited by time and age? Why is it acceptable for men to have babies later? I know! Unfair right?

I’m in my 30’s and I admit that I’m not yet ready to have babies. Don’t take me wrong, I  love kids but the thought of having one now is giving me anxieties. No, it’s not because of responsibilities. I’m not running away from responsibilities. I pay my bills and pay my student loan back. What I want at the moment is to get a full time job and some solid savings. I can’t see nothing wrong with living your dreams first and postponing having kids.

I felt sad that hubby thinks otherwise. I understand his sentiments. I’m in my 30’s and the chance for conceiving a child is lower compared to my earlier years. However, I’m not yet ready mentally. As I’ve said earlier, I need to do some things first. I do have a goal that I would start having kids by the age of 35. My hubby upon hearing this gave me a lecture about my reproductive system. He said that I’m getting old. But I don’t feel like I’m getting old! I told him that my cousin and some friends got kids at 35 and it went well. They didn’t have complications and didn’t have problems with the pregnancy. I get it. He wants kids and he wants to secure his chance of having kids. So I mentioned that adoption is a good alternative too. But I got another lecture as a response. Oh well, I’d take it as a no then!

My hubby and I are not yet done with this topic about babies. I hope we’ll come up to an agreement anytime soon.

 

An update

So yes I’m home at my parents’ this week. I’m glad to be here and I’m glad to help them with anything. I love them so much. Also, they’re not getting anymore younger. One of them got a problem with the eyes already. I wish that I got powers/magic to heal but unfortunately I have no super powers but I hope my presence here would have a healing effect.

The rebel chic