At what cost?

Some say that dreaming and dreams are free and that should be enough to reach it. My parents, mentors and friends have actually said the same. Of course I also did. But when I became independent and started deciding for my life, I have never looked back at dreaming the way I did when I was young.

For those of you who are new to my blog, I am taking up Bachelor in Radiography in Bergen and this is actually going to be my second degree. Most of my friends and family told me that I am lucky that I do not have to think about money when studying, because they know that Norway is kind to all its citizens. Well, I cannot say that I am lucky but I cannot say I am not either. I do not go to school for free despite of the student support from the government because it is still loan. Only a certain percentage is given to us students when we pass the exams.

This semester, I had two OJT’s. The first one is more inclined to basic nursing at the ortopedic department at the hospital and the second one is at the ER, taking x-rays of patients with suspected bone fractures. I had lots of fun and there are lots to learn that I got sad during the last days of my duty. However, my days (and evening/night) shifts did not go flawless because of lack of sleep and being a mom at the same time is exhausting. But exhaustion did not stop me from waking up early in the morning and driving late at night because I love what I was doing.

My microeconomic professor once told us during one of his lectures that nothing in this world is free. That we never get a free ride in life. In one way or another, we have to pay whether it is in monetary form, energy or for instance time. If you choose to stay at home rather than attend a lecture to save lunch money, yes you have probably added more to your savings but at the same time you pay for the missed information/knowledge.

Both of my OJT’s this year made me realized that it is never easy to work for your dreams. There is always turbulence along the way even though the skies are clear. In my case, every day at the hospital and the ER is very educational and memorable but at the same time stressfull and sometimes filled with anxiety because some shifts are just really busy and energy draining.

So, the cost of my dream this semester is two weeks of migraine attacks, stiff neck, a trip to the ER, time away from my little one, tears and a minor car accident.

The Negativity We Need these Days

I got tested for the virus last week. Thank God it’s negative! But as I’ve told my hubby, we should still stay cautious and careful. The reasons why I got tested is first, my hubby have been abroad two weeks before the lock down and community quarantine and after his trip he developed some flu like symptoms. And then the other reason is that I’m a health worker. It’s not mandatory to test but we should because we’re working with high risk people. At the same time, I got sick too.

I’m not afraid to get the virus. I’m confident enough that my immune system can handle the Covid19. But, I worry about the people around me. Who’s going to look after my child if I get sick? Did my boss found someone to work in my behalf?

I got tested inside the car in a parking lot. The nurse in full hazmat suit came to me and asked me to remain seated in the car and gave me the instructions on taking the sample from my nose (nasopharyngeal swab). I was surprised because I never expected that I had to do it myself and I’ve never done it before. Not even on the nursing lab at school! So there I was sitting anxiously in the car. Pulled the car visor down while the nurse tried to cheer me up. She then handed me the long cotton bud (ca 10 cm long) and asked me to close the car window. The first 5 cm went well even though I find it disgusting and uncomfortable but after that I took a pause because it’s starting to irritate my nasal passage. I tried to bargain but the nurse insisted that I should keep pushing down the cotton bud thing further down my pharynx. Huhu.. I hate you Covid19!

It took two days before they called and told me the result. I was relieved that no one in the household is sick with this killer Covid19 and finally we don’t have to isolate us. It means that we can finally go out to buy some groceries and I can finally come back to work after my flu symptoms are gone.

About the situation here. Norway is still on a lock down. The line and the numbers are looking good so far. The department of health said that the imposed community quarantine and social distancing rules are working so far (they believe). They are hoping to gradually losen the lock down and quarantine maybe after the Easter. It’s alright to hope but I’m sceptical. Maybe Norway’s numbers are still in the “calm before the storm”.

Anyway, I hope everyone stays healthy and sane in this very special situation that we’re in right now. The world is full of negativity but a little negativity is good, like a negative Covid19 test result.

No Room for Error

Last Friday, I had an exam in drug dosage calculation and I can say that it’s the most demanding and stressfull exam this semester because we can’t have any mistakes. I understand why the program requires us to master and to feel secure in our math because lives are at stake when we start working in the hospital. Just a single wrong unit or any wrong calculations can cost a patient’s life. In real life, this is just one of the tasks at work. Thus, we should be confident in what we do.

 

 

 

One of Life’s Lesson

Before, I thought that the main purpose of getting a degree or education is to earn lots of money and get rich. I also thought that once I see more digits pouring into my bank account, I’d be happier and satisfied. I was wrong. Life is indeed more than money.

I’m not saying that I don’t need money though. My point is that once you put money as your only priority and goal, then you might wake up unsure of what really is your purpose in life and in your society.

 

The Circle of Life

Just when I was about to leave, she asked me to stay for a couple of minutes. I stayed and listened to what she has to say. I thought that she was going to ask me move her plants from the window but no. She wants me to know what is going on in her mind. So I told her that she can tell me anything.

She told me that she is old and still getting older. After a couple of bypass operations, she thinks that her body is finally giving up on her. I protested right away. I told her that she is still strong despite her age. Then she began to tell me that her mother passed away at the age of 84 and left her with an important message. I asked her what it was. She looked at me, smiled and said “Livets sirkel” (The circle of life). My face looked probably puzzled so she just continued, “The young ones can/may die but the old ones must. That is the circle of life.”. I asked her why she’s telling me this and she said that she can already sense that she is very near the finish line. Again, I expressed my disagreement and tried to comfort her as much as I can. And then she apologized and thanked me for lending her an ear.

I waved her goodbye and headed to the car right away. My eyes were a bit watery but I was smiling too.

 

Knock, Knock!

My life had been a roller coaster ride during the first two months this year. I felt hopeless, insecure and unsure about my future and career as the unemployment rate increases. However, I did not give up. I searched for jobs and have been an active volunteer near my place. I also talked to my friends and acquaintances regarding my situation and it helped me to remain calm and keep my sanity. They all told me one thing, Never Give Up!

I applied jobs online within the economic and administration sector, bank and finance and health sector. Out of 15 companies that I applied for, only 5 of them replied to tell me that they have already hired someone. I did not hear from the rest, except for those that I have called. They said that there were 150 applicants so they cannot check all the applications. I was getting depressed and frustrated until the office of social services sent me a message regarding a job fair within the health sector in Bergen. It gave me at least a gleam of hope.

I went to the job fair early and there were already lots of people who share the same goal with me, to get a job. I filled up a form, took out my cvs then went straight ahead to the booths and talked to almost everyone there. One of the firms scheduled me right away for an interview the next week. Then the day after, another firm called me and asked me to come for an interview.

To make the story short, they both offered me a job. I cannot explain what I felt that day. My situation changed. When I was really down and hopeless, opportunities came knocking on my door. I did not have to chase it anymore because it came to me. The only thing that I had to do is to choose.

So yes, finally, I have a job now. It is not full time yet but I have a job. And guess what, more opportunities are coming. Thanks to my friends, family and partner for always believing in me during the difficult times of my life.

 

 

Let’s Hike!

Life is like hiking. No matter how high or short the mountain trip is, it never is easy. There is not such thing as easy in life. The paths that we take for the first time is never that easy. There’s always obstacles along the way and from those obstacles we pick up the lessons in life. The path to the top of any mountain is never flat. It could be rocky, muddy and/or mossy. We learn that sometimes we need to fall in order to reach our dreams and it is up to us how we are going to get through these obstacles. It’s either you find another way around to reach the top or fearlessly face those obstacles. For me, it doesn’t matter how one will reach the top as long as he/she won’t step on someone along the way. Also, the most important thing in life is to never give up. The mountain may be high but your will is higher than the highest mountain.

Zorro på fjelltur
Went hiking at a mountain near Toppe with the bf and Zorro last week.

I attached a video of Imagine Dragons’ On Top of the World song. I think this matches the mood for this post. 😀 Enjoy!